How Are You??

 How are you? 

No...Honestly, How are you?

If I had to answer that I'd always say "I'm good" Even now I say it a lot., Why? Great question... because in the past I was not, not even close to being "good", hell I wasn't even OK! 

Now, I do say it, and most of the time it's true, I really am doing very well. The other times, I say it because I just don't want to get into why I am not. I don't want to get into the reason after all this time I am still dealing with little offshoots of the shit-show I lived. None of it is big issues, it's just the crap that he still likes to pull, and it's annoying.

Sometimes when I'm not good, it's just the normal stresses of being an adult, and single mom to 2 adult children at home, as well as an 11 yr old with a disability. 

Are the kids OK, really OK?  Did I forget any of the bills?  What's for dinner?  Did I forget to put the clothes in the dryer? Did I do my timesheet? Just usual, normal random crap. But somedays that usual random crap gets overwhelming.

 Somedays I wish I could turn over the "adult in charge" role to someone else. Somedays I wish I had a normal, kind, loving husband to take over for a bit. But then I remember this life, and all the frustrations, stresses, and crap, is a life I wanted, wished, and dreamed of. I am living a life of happiness, freedom, and "calm". I am in control of my money, time and decisions. I don't have to ask before buying groceries, or going to target. I can buy the kids things they need, or want without having to ask first or get yelled at for asking if I can. I always try to remember where I came from, and even in those overwhelming, and stressful moments, I pause and remember to be grateful, and realized I am OK, and this is "normal" life.

So now when someone says "How are you"? I say "I'm good, could be better, but I'm good" and actually mean it.

We all have issues, we all have moments where we just want to scream and cry, and we all have moments where we just want to cry or give up. The thing I try to remember is that, it won't last forever, and how you perceive it, and the attitude you have impacts the outcome. I always try to find 1 good thing in every situation. Sometimes that thing is really hard to find, but there is always something, even if that something is you're still here. Life can be tough, but it's much harder if you feel sorry for yourself and walk around with a bad "poor me" attitude. 

Lately I try to find a positive in everything, but also end up finding something funny as well. I have found the kids and myself laughing a lot more at the "crappy" things then ever before. I find myself often saying "it's fine, it's going to be fine, it's all fine' then laugh, and whisper "serenity now". Life is way too short to be angry, stressed, or negative anymore. Shit happens, people are shitty, and you can't control any of it. However you can control how you react, perceive, or deal with it. Once you decide to stop the negative thoughts, and find the good & funny in it, life becomes easier. Stop staying "I wish" and start saying "I will", then start doing what it takes to make it happen. Get out of the situation if it's draining you, get a different job if its become pure hell being there, leave the marriage/relationship if it's not happy and healthy.

 Change is scary, and often hard, but in the end it is often the best thing, and you end up in the much better place. So Jump... Close Your Eyes, Take A Deep Breath, and JUMP!!!

Just make sure while you're waiting to land you leave all the negative crap, and ways you've done things behind. You will land on both feet, a bit damaged  and bruised, you'll be scared, lost and possibly sad, but you made the jump. Get up, smile, and start! You start with your new attitude, new plans, goals, and perceptions. You are in control, and anyone or anything that doesn't support, encourage or help you reach your new goals & life, don't get to come along, or be in it. Anyone that you allow on your journey should respect, and love you, make you happy, and work just as hard as you do to create your life together.

I have already jumped, and landed. I have started to stand up, and start my new life, and I am at a point where it's time to be brave, and open my heart to life, try trusting again. One day I will  find someone to continue on this journey with me, someone to share in all the happy & sad times, someone to go on adventures with, and share the boring everyday life with. I will find someone who wants to be with me, and is grateful for all life has to offer, someone who isn't perfect, doesn't try to be, and doesn't expect me to be either. I will find someone who will hold my hand through it all, and someone who will find the positive & funny in everyday. Someone who will laugh as often and as hard as I do about everything and nothing. But most importantly, someone I can trust!! Someone who won't run if it gets hard, someone who won't shut me out and ignore me when it's hard. Someone who makes promises and keeps them, and who says "I've got you", "I am not going anywhere", or "I love you", and they truly mean it. Someone who lets me into their heart, and trusts me when I say those things, and  knows I mean it all 100%.

So... For now I am working on me, life, everything. I know I will achieve my goals, I will be happy, my kids will be happy & healthy, and I will find my "someone" when the time is right. Who knows, maybe I have found them, and not know they are my "someone" just yet. 

So.. How are you???

I am OK, could always be better, but I am actually pretty good!!

It's Been 5 Years.... LOTS Of Changes

 It has been 5 Years since I blogged. I posted about our last Disney trip and all the issues and sadness. I couldn't image the pure hell the next year would be, but it was only the start of BIG changes!!

I need to first say I still have to be careful with sharing certain things or too much, but I can touch on some major points, and you will still know what has been going on. I just need to be careful for legal reasons, which you will understand soon.

We returned from our Disney trip in October 2016, it was abundantly clear things needed to change, and I also was realizing they weren't going to. I tried with everything I had to save my marriage, a marriage I knew from day one was in trouble. I ignored all the red flags, and was sure I could make it work. It was very clear in 2013, it was getting worse, but again I needed to just "fix" it. By 2015 there was an incident where is was as clear as day, I was not cared about and I still thought IF I would just try harder I could be the "perfect" wife, and things would change for the better.

Fast forward to our Disney trip, and the thing others had been seeing happening right out in the open, right under my nose, and I denied and made excuses for, was infract really happening. It had been going on for 2 years! I was devastated, depressed, sad, and feeling hopeless and trapped.  I confronted him many times only to be gaslight and further mentally and emotionally abused. I was determined that I had to put every last bit I had into trying to fix this, because if I was heading towards a divorce, I needed to look my kids in the eye and say "I tried everything I could to fix this"

Travis came home in May of 2017 for the summer, and I was so happy to have all my kids home. but that happiness changed to deep sadness and feeling like I had failed my kids. Travis texted me and asked me to come to his room, he needed to talk to me. I walked in to Travis crying, really crying and upset. He told me he felt like his dad had changed, that he acted like he hated me, and that he treated me like shit. I could not believe he was seeing what I had been living for many years, and that I failed at hiding it from my kids. I told Travis things had been strained and I was honestly not sure what was going to happen. I told him I would stay if that is what he wanted. Travis through his tears said " you haven't been happy for a long time. Dad acts like he hates you and us kids, he is never around, and never wants to do anything with us. You do what you need to and we will be OK" Travis tried talking to his father only to be lied to, and even wrote a letter to him before returning to college, again only to be completely ignored.

Things blew up at the end of September and I filed for divorce. It was sad, scary, and a big relief too.  Things got much worse at home, and it was a nightmare.  My divorce was finalized in October 2018, and yet today I am still dealing with crap. I had hoped it wouldn't end this way, and I naively hoped he wouldn't continue to drag stuff out nearly 3 yrs later, but I am learning he is hell bent on making sure I am "punished" and he wasn't joking when he told the judge I needed to be. 

There is some good in all of this though. The kids and I moved to a nice apartment, lived in a safe, clean, and normal area. We had lots of walking paths and parks to utilize and were learning what it meant to be "normal" and happy.  Travis Graduated college in 2020, and we all moved into an amazing house with lots of room, a play house for Tessa and a fenced in backyard. we are loving our new home, and are still adjusting to being in a neighborhood, where people are nice, and actually being part of a community, having friends, and feeling safe, happy, healthy and respected. Kaden Graduated high school in 2021, and was able to do so with his last named changed at school to my maiden name. 

It would be fair, and truthful to say I am changed, and I am healing. But it would also be fair and truthful to say I changed back to who I was before I was broken, the girl who was always inside me screaming and crying, wanting to be respected, cared for and loved, wanting to have a  normal life. I learned through therapy that the life I had lived for 21 years, and the life my kids knew for their whole lives was not normal, it was destructive and not healthy in anyway. I didn't deserve any of it and neither did they.

 But we are all healing. We have done more new adventures as a family- a new little family, then we ever did prior to the divorce. My kids are seeing what a family looks like, acts like and feels like. They are learning that I can and will do everything in my power to protect them and give them the life they need, want and deserve. We are good, and we are happy!

***Obviously there are many missing details, but I have gloss over them. I want to get back to blogging, and being the honest and open person I have always been, but I have to choose how transparent I am with certain things for now****

Disney again, Expectations, Lessons Learned

I want to start out saying there are few happy & positive things in this post.  I have from day one of this blog been brutally honest with my feelings & emotions, and that never going to change.

We went to Disney World again on September 23rd. I was excited & sad right from the beginning. This trip Travis would not be joining us, he has college, and a trip wouldn't work. In hindsight   I feel it's best he couldn't based on how the trip went.
Like all our other trips we had 11 nights/12days, we were driving & I was beyond excited to be in my happy place, with my kids  spending quality time together. I should add, we only take a trip all together as a family every 3 yes, my husband works a lot and this is our chance to recharge, reconnect & be together.

We have always had a strict rule of never taking others with, it's just too hard & we have a system worked out that works for us. This time we broke that rule.
My cousin flew in from Montana, and we brought my husbands 2nd cousin with too. They both were go with the flow for planning & honestly didn't think it would be bad.

I had big expectations for this trip, we were celebrating our 20th anniversary & I had planned to have many pictures of us celebrating. I have ZERO!! I also have ZERO pictures of us with Kaden& Tessa. What do I have??? Tears, a deep profound sadness & hurt.

I was so worried & stressed before this trip, worried that both our guests enjoyed themselves, that they don't feel left out of anything. How could I have know the person not only feeling left out, but also who was being left out was ME!!!

From the moment we left, until we pulled back into the driveway I was an afterthought. I sat alone with my kids away from my husband on the bus, on rides, at most meals I was on the opposite side of the table, even walking I wasn't the one walking next to my husband, I was the one about 100 ft or more behind walking with the kids.

We have pictures that Disney took, and there is not one of my husband & I together, or together on a ride. We had buttons we wore letting people know of our celebrations at Disney. My cousin had a birthday one & a first visit. He had been once as a child, and he was celebrating his 40th birthday.  My husbands 2nd cousin had a first visit button because she hadn't been since she was a child & she is 22. We had buttons for our anniversary too.
Sadly since we didn't sit next to each other or even walk together, people were offering congratulations on the anniversary to the 2 people that were always together, my husband & his 2nd cousin. There are lots of pictures of  them enjoying rides, at dinner, I even have pictures of them riding the bus ( I wanted a picture of my daughter between them).

Our trip started out with a hiccup, on our second day, we came back to our rooms to see a huge cockroach on some clothes. After 3 hrs of hassles we were moved to a different resort to 2 rooms on different floors. We got a late start the next day with switching1 room again & packing our stuff to move. The 3rd day we were up late trying to locate our lost luggage, which cause us to sleep in again.
It became very clear my plans were going out the door when I got complaints of having to get up.
I was continually changing plans, and becoming increasingly aware I & my feelings were not a priority or even a thought. I made many attempts to sit with my husband either at meals or on rides only to be shoved to a different spot. I tried so hard to not be sad or upset, I tried to convince myself it was no big deal, but the truth was it was & I was very hurt & very sad.

On our last day in the parks the kids were sick & miserable, so I choose to let them sleep in & my cousin stayed back  at the hotel  to change his flight due to the hurricane. I told my husband to just go to the Magic Kingdom without us, we would join them shortly. It took me longer to get the authorization needed to add 2 nights to our stay due to the hurricane too.

I was getting texts saying what rides they were doing& asking when we were getting there. I kept letting him know we were trying but things were busy & it was taking a while. I then received a text that they had went ahead & did the 2 rides Kaden was looking forward to doing with his dad. My heart sank & I felt sick. Why?? Why did he not wait for us, why would he disappoint Kaden?
The answer I was given was he didn't know, but he had been told multiple times, again we weren't thought of.
My heart shattered into a million pieces when after dinner my husband, his 2nd cousin, the kids & I went back to the Magic Kingdom to ride a ride Kaden wanted too. I was TOLD they were going   ride some rides together, leaving the kids & I alone yet again. I was never asked if I wanted to go on a  ride with him.
While walking my husband was pushing the stroller, he & his 2nd cousin were a bit a head of the Kaden  & I, Kaden walked up by Dennis, and was trying to walk with him, when his 2nd cousin started walking, cutting in front of Kaden forcing Kaden to step back & not run in to her. She then walked next to my husband, shoulders nearly touching just like they did the whole trip. Kaden came back by me and said "I guess I'll just walk back here again."  Soon Dennis, the stroller & her were so far ahead we were lost in the sea of people for about 15 minutes, we couldn't even see them. Once we finally caught up, I told him we can't walk that fast, we just ate & Kaden didn't feel good.

After the kids & I rode 2 rides it was clear Tessa was done, she was so hot, tired, and was sick too. Kaden said he didn't feel well either & wanted to go back to the hotel. It was already 10:15pm, so I agreed we call it a day. It was then I received a text saying they were going to get fastpasses, when I ask why & for what I was told never mind they would just wait in line. I then told him the kids were not feeling well & we needed to go back to the hotel. My text was ignored, I could see them both in line, reading my text & ignoring it.
I took the kids to the bus & had Kaden help with Tessa, the stroller, water  bottles & backpack getting onto & off of the bus. I got kids ready for bed, gave them meds & we laid in bed to relax a bit. Imagine my surprise, anger, sadness & hurt to open the Disney App to see the went on many more rides & were having the time of there life. It was then Kaden started crying because he realized he never got to ride the 2 things he really wanted to, the 2 things his Dad & her had done without us earlier that day.

I was furious that even though the kids were sick, they continued to enjoy our family vacation.  I received a text about 2 1/2 hours after leaving that he was coming back & his phone had been in his pocket & low battery. We did briefly argue when he got back, and he admitted he did  see my text, but he didn't care.
Due to the hurricane we didn't leave on Thursday, we left Saturday. We spent those days just like the previous ones, the kids & I alone, them off together.  He did go to Disney Springs so we could go shopping, but he refused to go into the stores & wouldn't talk to Kaden on the bus, and only snipped at me & gave me looks like he hated me.  That evening Kaden & I fought the crowds to get food before the hurricane to eat for dinner & the next day. He said he
Didn't want anything, but upon returning to the room he left with her & they ate at the food court together while the kids & I sat in the room.


Friday he did take a walk around the resort, but it was not a really comfortable walk since I was trying to hold it together for the sake of the kids.
On the drive home I just wanted 5 minutes alone with him, hoping maybe a walk to the bathrooms at a rest stop, yet that would never happen. Every rest stop I'd go by myself, while they sat in the van with the kids, then they would go. I tried to go a few times when we stopped, but she would jump out & go with so I was told I could go next. A few times when we would all go I would try to wait, hoping to get a kiss, hold hands on the walk back, but it's impossible when they are attached at the shoulder. I do not know why this was the case for the whole trip, I really don't understand any of it.

I will say I was so deeply hurt & upset the night I took the kids, sick. back to the resort alone I was for the 1st time seriously considering if I wanted to stay.

I know it sounds crazy, but you have to remember these trips every 3 yrs are the ONLY time we go somewhere as a family, it's the one time the kids have his undivided attention away from work, it's a time for him & I to reconnect, have time alone without the distractions of work. The kids & I had this time taken from us, we can not get it back. We don't have the fun happy memories, we don't have the pictures, and we don't have anything to show for our 20th anniversary celebrations... no pictures, no quiet moments, not even a 5 minute walk alone.

I know we invited others along, but I never in a million years thought it would turn out like this. I am very grateful & glad my cousin came with, he helped me so much with the kids, he rode many rides with Kaden.

I will say this, I have learned we will never go in September again, and we will never travel with anyone again. If others go at the same time that's great, get your own room, make your own plans & we can maybe meet up 1-2 times for a bit.

Right now I can't even look at our photopass pictures Disney took of us & on rides it hurts way too much. I'm slowly unpacking, but cry the whole time. I honestly hurt so bad it makes me sick. What does the future hold??? I don't know, I guess time will tell.

There were a few good moments, seeing Tessa light up when she met Sofia the First, watching her giggle so had on Test Track & roller coaster. These moments bring me joy & happiness.

5 Years

Tessa turned 5 in January, and while time has flown by, there are moments that seem like a million years ago. I have many moments I regret, and some I wish I could have a do-over.

I am going to be brutally honest, because I feel many parents that have a child with a disability aren't often. I don't fault them, because often we are judged unfairly & harshly by either other parents, or by people who don't have a child with a disability.

I love Tessa just as much as my boys. I love her smile, her funny sense of humor, her tiny feet & hands, her beautiful blue eyes, with the amazing brushfield spots, her amazing zest for life, and her sweet kisses & hugs. I wouldn't change a thing about her, including  her extra chromosome.
But, I do have days I wished she didn't have to work so hard for the simple things that come so easy for her peers, that she didn't have to be frustrated when people don't understand her, when she is unable to communicate her needs & wants as easily.

There are days I hate that Tessa has Down syndrome!! There are days I hate that when trying to advocate for her, I become so overwhelmed I cry. I hate that I am not sure if what I'm doing is what is really best for her or is what she would have chosen for herself.

One thing I do know, is I can say I am trying my best, I am doing the research, I'm asking for advice from those that have been on this journey longer.

We are about to start a new chapter of her life, and while it's exciting, it's equally as terrifying too. Tessa will finally graduate from preschool next month, and she will be off to Kindergarten. It is hard to believe we are at this stage already, and yet it makes me sad to think time is only going to go much faster. Tessa has been in preschool since she was 2 1/2, including 6 weeks during the  summers, before that she had therapy every week from 6 weeks to 2 1/2 yrs. Tessa has not known a time without someone messing with her, trying to teacher her something in someway.
This summer she will have ZERO school or therapy!! She gets to be a typical 5 yr old, playing, laughing, experiencing life without a having everything being a therapy.

All too soon summer will be over, and the learning begins again. I feel good about my choice for her kindergarten. She will attend the same school the boys attended, its a small school, and it's perfect for her. She will have 2 amazing teachers, who can't wait for her to come, she has a great case manager/special ed teacher, who also is excited for her to come. Tessa will be fully included in kindergarten. She will be in a class of kindergartners and 1st graders. She will learn so much from her peers, and they will learn so much from her too. I hope she makes friends, and I hope they are patient & kind with her. She will still get Speech, OT, and PT. She will eat lunch at school, she will experience gym, music, art class. I am excited & can't wait to see her blossom during the year.
She is behind her peers, but she will be given the same work, only modified. Will she know simple addition/subtraction, how to read sight words, write her name by the end of the year? We have no clue, will her peers? Yes! But she will be given the same opportunities as her peers to learn those things, and someday, in her own time she will reach her full potential.

So when I look back on her first 5 yrs, I wish I could go back to that day in the Dr's office when I was told she had "soft marker" for DS, and tell myself it's going to be OK. I wish I could go back to the day she was born & I was alone in a dark hospital room crying myself to sleep after seeing her laying in the NICU and tell myself that it was going to be OK. I wish I could go back to my week in the hospital after having her, and tell myself to pick her up, love her, don't be scared she just wants to be loved & she is going to be OK.

I wish for the first few months I could have seen past her diagnosis, and seen how amazing she was, how much those around us embraced her & loved her.

I will never regret fighting every battle with family, friends, doctors, therapists & teachers over what I wanted for her, what she deserved. I will never regret fighting for her.

So here I am with the most amazing 5 yr old ever, and some days I can't believe I get to be her mom. I get to wake up to her sweet smile. I get to cuddle with her every night, kiss her, tell her I love her very much. I get to watch her drift off to sleep, and I know she knows happiness &  love.

There will be many more battles, many more sad, and tough moments in the future, but there will also be so many more happy moments, laughter, kisses & milestones.

I can not wait to see what the next 5 yrs hold!!

Slacking Again

I have been slacking on this again, but things have been so busy & I honestly haven't had a whole lot of time. There have been many new, exciting & interesting things happening, and I have had many ideas for things to blog about, but again time is short, and honestly some I just really felt best to not blog about.

Travis has finished his 1st semester of college, an while it had a few rough spots, he learned from them, and added them to life experiences. He is liking it, and really growing into the amazing adult I knew he would be. I miss him greatly, and still worry about him, maybe more then when he lived at home. I worry he will feel we are forgetting about him, or is he sad. But, I know he knows we think about him daily & he is not being excluded.

Kaden is having a great year in school, and he has grown so much both physically, mentally & emotionally. He has one of the best teachers, and he is his advisor too. He truly loves his job, and wants to see the kids succeed. He has reached out to Kaden, and shown him he matters, he told Kaden he believes in him. These words from him have given Kaden a boost in self esteem, and motivation to work hard. I see everyday Kaden is finding his passion & becoming more & more sure of himself.

Tessa continues to grow, and amaze us with her funny attitude & desire to learn. Her language is growing daily, and she really is becoming a "big" girl. She is loving her school, especially her Readiness class. (special ed class) She has really become more outgoing at school, made some friends, and is learning so much. We had one IEP meeting & will have a few more this spring to prepare for her transition to Kindergarten. We have finally got her a social worker, and while it took lots of paperwork, phone calls, and waiting it has been, and will be a good thing going forward. I am finding things can be hard, frustrating, and down right confusing  when navigating services, and finding resources for her. I am blessed to have found a great group of parents, and networks to help offer advice or assistance navigating it all. Because of this I agreed to take over as Parent Facilitator for our parent group. I figured if I can be someone to help other parents either by sharing my experiences or helping to find resources I need to do that, since I wouldn't know half of what I do, or have found the services without others too.

I also became an Independent Consultant for Pink Zebra. I love their products, and thought I would give it a shot. It has been slow going, but I have done a vendor event, and have been getting my name out there. I will give it time to take off, and just trying to make a little extra money to help with the bills.

So as you can see life has been busy, but it is all good. I want to start being more consistent with my blogging, and have many other projects, and ideas I want to do (try) in 2016.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, and you have a safe & happy New Year!

 

He Is Not Gone, He's At College!

We took Travis to college on August 22nd, we stayed until the 23rd.  I said my good byes, and cried a bit, cried more when I was driving, and lost it walking into the house.  I found myself  not able to function, and the physical pain was more then I could stand.
I tried to focus on Tessa & Kaden, getting them ready for school & surgery for Tessa, but I would just lose it whenever anyone asked how Travis was doing. I couldn't answer that because I didn't know. He seemed very nervous, and stressed, but he also seemed to be calmer then I expected too. I worried was he trying to be brave for me, was he actually terrified or sad?  I didn't know and the thought of him being upset, sad, scared or anything made me cry & feel like a failure.

From the day he was born I vowed to never let my kids feel like I wasn't there for them, or that I had abandoned them. I never wanted them to worry I wouldn't be there for them, yet at this moment I couldn't physically be there for him.

When Travis was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome & severe anxiety at the age of 8, our world changed. Every aspect of our lives was regimented. we followed a strict schedule, any changes had to be gone over extensively. I spent every moment watching, and anticipating situations that needed to be addressed to make it more comfortable. I did everything I needed to make life more safe, comfortable, calm, peaceful for him. I spent more hours in IEP meetings trying to make sure he got the best environment, staff & resources available to help him become successful. I made sure those around him understood he wasn't being a jerk, a baby, or I wasn't babying him, I was doing what needed to be done for him to even be able to function in this life. He wasn't trying to be rude, condescending, or anything else others thought, he was trying to learn to be more accepted by society, but somedays it was harder.

He had come along way in those 10 yrs before college. and he made some great progress. However he will always have Asperger's & anxiety, and no matter how much we all wish it wasn't so, it is. He will always struggle with many aspects of it ,there will be many things in his adult life that will be hard, very hard, and sad. I will always be here advocating, comforting, and teaching him, I will never give up on helping him. The ultimate goal for him, and for any child is to get them into college, get them out into the world, and see them successful & happy.

So yes, this was what we had worked for, but it was a big deal, and it was terrifying too.
He is 4 hrs away, if he has a bad day, I can't give him a hug and help him processes it. He is an adult, and there is only so much I can legally do to help him, without going to court & taking away his rights. FYI: This will never happen!!

So while this is the goal, and yes I am very happy, it still is hard, and I was still so sad. He worked so hard to get to college, he has known for a long time this is what he wants, and he has done everything possible to get here. He deserves to be in college, he deserves a good life, and he deserves to be happy while doing it.

I am happy to report, he is starting his 4th week of school, and seems to be doing just fine. The kids & I are going to see him in 2 days & I am so excited. I miss him, I miss our talks, I miss seeing his stuff here. But, I am so incredibly proud he is doing good, he's taking care of himself, and advocating for himself too. 

So for those who say how is it now that Travis is gone, I say....He is not gone, he is just at college right now!!

Finally....Our Disney Trips! Yes, I said Trip!

I haven't written about Disney in a long time, and we have since gone on our trip, and Travis and I have taken a mother/son trip too.
So I will post a bit about both trips, and a bit about our upcoming trip in about 14 months.

Our last trip was in October 2013, we again drove because it is most cost effective for us, and we really enjoy road trips. Driving gives us a chance to see many things we might miss if we flew, and lets be honest I always over pack, we shop way too much at Disney, and getting things there & back is not an issue. Now let me just say, I realize driving isn't for everyone, and I respect that, but for us it is all part of the fun.
Normally we leave after the kids get out of school on a Friday, and again that is what we did. We picked Kaden up early since he got out 50 minutes later then Travis. Our plan is always to drive all night, and all day Saturday till we get to the Georgia/ Florida boarder. We then stay the night, and start out for our final 4 hrs. This time we took a different route, and even with stopping to eat, go potty & letting Tessa play we were making good time. We discussed going straight through since Tessa was doing so good, and we would be arriving around 11PM. I called The Swan & The Dolphin resorts at Downtown Disney, but both were full. I then call Disney reservations to see if we could check in early, but they said there was nothing at Pop Century. Disney did have a room available at Coronado Springs Resort, so we took it. We were reassured it didn't matter if we arrived around midnight, sounds great! But we would not make it there by 12, in fact I no sooner hung up with Disney & Tessa went into meltdown mode. Great, we now have a nonrefundable reservation at Disney, and we are wondering if it is a mistake. We made a few stops to calm her and finally arrived at 2 AM.

Now, Disney always does an amazing job at customer service, and even at 2 AM they welcome you with a smile. Dennis, Tessa & I went to check in, and were greeted with smiles. They were amazing with Tessa, and asked if it was her first visit. They then provided her with 1st visit button, a balloon, coloring book, crayons, and autographed pictures of Winnie Pooh & friends, Mickey & Minnie, and the Princesses.
We quickly found our room and went to bed. The next morning we showered, packed up what little we brought in, and checked out the resort before doing a late checkout, and going to Pop Century for our stay.

We drove to Pop Century, and had a very smooth check in. Our rooms, yes 2 rooms were ready, so we went dropped our stuff off, and made a run to Walmart for Mt Dew, Coke, bottled water, diapers & wipes. This is one of the perks of having a car we were able to bring just what we needed for their trip down, and then stocked up there.  We spent the rest of the day relaxing and exploring the resort.

Since this was the 1st visit for Tessa we started our trip with the Magic Kingdom, and breakfast at Cinderella's Royal Table before park opening. This was worth the 2 dinning credits just to see the princesses, and the castle.
This was our first time using Magic Bands, and Disney was still in the testing phase so they were sending invites to guests to be in their test group, and we were lucky enough to be asked.
We really loved them, and because we were in the test group we could get the standard 3 Fast pass+, and then when those were used we could get  regular fast pass.  We really had a great time, and really just stayed in vacation mode the whole time. We really just go with the flow, we don't drive to the parks we take Disney transportation. If a bus is really full when it's our turn to board, we step aside, and let others get on, while we wait for the next bus. We try to just not let stuff bother us and try to make sure we show our appreciation for all the cast members hard work.
This time we made Dinning reservations at some old favorites, and also tried some new spots too.
We ate at: Raglan Road, Yatchtmans Steakhouse, Cinderella's Royal Table, Coral Reef, Teppan Edo, Crystal Palace, Ohana, Chef Mickey's, and  T Rex.  We also purchased the Memory Maker CD for all our pictures, dinning photos, and ride photos.

It really was a great trip, and it was so special, yet bittersweet too. This was the 1st time for Tessa to go, it was the 1st time with all 3 kids, and it was our last trip to be bringing Travis before heading off to college. Little did I know, Travis & I would be back in 1 yr.

Which brings me to November 2014, and Travis & I flying to Florida for a quick, whirlwind trip.
Travis had decided to tour 2 schools in Florida.  Embory Riddle Aeronautical University in Daytona Beach, and Florida Institute Of Technology in Melbourne.  We also decided that if we were going to be down there already we needed a Disney fix even if only for 1 1/2 days. I also wanted to spend a bit of alone time with Travis, and wanted to let him pick one park for us to visit, since had has had to sacrifice so much since Tessa has been born. He choose Epcot, and wanted dinner at Teppan Edo. We bought our plane tickets, and while I had not been on a plane in 10 yrs, I did my best to not panic. We booked a rental car, set up appointments, booked All Star Movies (where we stayed when Travis was 4), and bought our tickets to Epcot.
We flew into Orlando late on a Sunday night, picked up our car, and drove to Melbourne. Monday we had an appointment for a tour at FIT. After our tour, we drove up to Daytona Beach, checked into our hotel, and went down to the beach for dinner. It was amazing to see the ocean, and enjoy the nice weather in November. On Tuesday morning we checked out, toured Embory Riddle, and then went back to the Orlando airport to return the car, and hop on Disney's Magical Express for our hotel.
After checking in we dropped our luggage, went to Downtown Disney, and just took in all the sights & sounds of Disney. We were both so tired from all the traveling in the past 2 1/2 days, but also extremely happy to be back at Disney. On the way back we rode the monorail loop to all the Monorail resorts, and stopped at the Magic Kingdom to take a picture of the Christmas decorations at the entrance. I was a very happy girl, to see a touch of Christmas.
Wednesday Morning we were up early and at Epcot at park opening, wee had Fast passes to use, and Epcot had Extra Magic hours so we had till 11PM to take in as much Disney as we could. We laughed, rode rides, ate stuff from the Food & Wine Festival, sampled yummy drinks, and made amazing memories I will forever cherish. We were able to ride all favorite rides multiple times due to low crowds, fast passes, and utilizing single rider lines. We Met some great, and funny people while standing in line, including Bob from Jersey, and a man we called Rastafarian Dad. Our dinner at Teppan Edo was excellent as usual, and our chef was very funny, as well as all our table mates. We laughed, and really had an awesome time. We stayed till 11 when the park closed, and even though we needed to be at the bus stop for Magical Express at 5 am it was worth being tired.

So now we are planning our next trip, and I have very mixed emotions about it. I am very excited to be going back, and can't wait to see Tessa experience it again, I get sad thinking about Travis not being there. While he knows with college it just isn't possible to go with, I feel a bit worried he might feel left out. This next trip will be earlier then usual, due to the Ryder Cup being played in town, and the schools being closed for a week the end of September. We will be going Last week of September through October 6th. As plans continue to be made, and revised again & again, I will try to update periodically with tip, and info.