I want to start out saying there are few happy & positive things in this post. I have from day one of this blog been brutally honest with my feelings & emotions, and that never going to change.
We went to Disney World again on September 23rd. I was excited & sad right from the beginning. This trip Travis would not be joining us, he has college, and a trip wouldn't work. In hindsight I feel it's best he couldn't based on how the trip went.
Like all our other trips we had 11 nights/12days, we were driving & I was beyond excited to be in my happy place, with my kids spending quality time together. I should add, we only take a trip all together as a family every 3 yes, my husband works a lot and this is our chance to recharge, reconnect & be together.
We have always had a strict rule of never taking others with, it's just too hard & we have a system worked out that works for us. This time we broke that rule.
My cousin flew in from Montana, and we brought my husbands 2nd cousin with too. They both were go with the flow for planning & honestly didn't think it would be bad.
I had big expectations for this trip, we were celebrating our 20th anniversary & I had planned to have many pictures of us celebrating. I have ZERO!! I also have ZERO pictures of us with Kaden& Tessa. What do I have??? Tears, a deep profound sadness & hurt.
I was so worried & stressed before this trip, worried that both our guests enjoyed themselves, that they don't feel left out of anything. How could I have know the person not only feeling left out, but also who was being left out was ME!!!
From the moment we left, until we pulled back into the driveway I was an afterthought. I sat alone with my kids away from my husband on the bus, on rides, at most meals I was on the opposite side of the table, even walking I wasn't the one walking next to my husband, I was the one about 100 ft or more behind walking with the kids.
We have pictures that Disney took, and there is not one of my husband & I together, or together on a ride. We had buttons we wore letting people know of our celebrations at Disney. My cousin had a birthday one & a first visit. He had been once as a child, and he was celebrating his 40th birthday. My husbands 2nd cousin had a first visit button because she hadn't been since she was a child & she is 22. We had buttons for our anniversary too.
Sadly since we didn't sit next to each other or even walk together, people were offering congratulations on the anniversary to the 2 people that were always together, my husband & his 2nd cousin. There are lots of pictures of them enjoying rides, at dinner, I even have pictures of them riding the bus ( I wanted a picture of my daughter between them).
Our trip started out with a hiccup, on our second day, we came back to our rooms to see a huge cockroach on some clothes. After 3 hrs of hassles we were moved to a different resort to 2 rooms on different floors. We got a late start the next day with switching1 room again & packing our stuff to move. The 3rd day we were up late trying to locate our lost luggage, which cause us to sleep in again.
It became very clear my plans were going out the door when I got complaints of having to get up.
I was continually changing plans, and becoming increasingly aware I & my feelings were not a priority or even a thought. I made many attempts to sit with my husband either at meals or on rides only to be shoved to a different spot. I tried so hard to not be sad or upset, I tried to convince myself it was no big deal, but the truth was it was & I was very hurt & very sad.
On our last day in the parks the kids were sick & miserable, so I choose to let them sleep in & my cousin stayed back at the hotel to change his flight due to the hurricane. I told my husband to just go to the Magic Kingdom without us, we would join them shortly. It took me longer to get the authorization needed to add 2 nights to our stay due to the hurricane too.
I was getting texts saying what rides they were doing& asking when we were getting there. I kept letting him know we were trying but things were busy & it was taking a while. I then received a text that they had went ahead & did the 2 rides Kaden was looking forward to doing with his dad. My heart sank & I felt sick. Why?? Why did he not wait for us, why would he disappoint Kaden?
The answer I was given was he didn't know, but he had been told multiple times, again we weren't thought of.
My heart shattered into a million pieces when after dinner my husband, his 2nd cousin, the kids & I went back to the Magic Kingdom to ride a ride Kaden wanted too. I was TOLD they were going ride some rides together, leaving the kids & I alone yet again. I was never asked if I wanted to go on a ride with him.
While walking my husband was pushing the stroller, he & his 2nd cousin were a bit a head of the Kaden & I, Kaden walked up by Dennis, and was trying to walk with him, when his 2nd cousin started walking, cutting in front of Kaden forcing Kaden to step back & not run in to her. She then walked next to my husband, shoulders nearly touching just like they did the whole trip. Kaden came back by me and said "I guess I'll just walk back here again." Soon Dennis, the stroller & her were so far ahead we were lost in the sea of people for about 15 minutes, we couldn't even see them. Once we finally caught up, I told him we can't walk that fast, we just ate & Kaden didn't feel good.
After the kids & I rode 2 rides it was clear Tessa was done, she was so hot, tired, and was sick too. Kaden said he didn't feel well either & wanted to go back to the hotel. It was already 10:15pm, so I agreed we call it a day. It was then I received a text saying they were going to get fastpasses, when I ask why & for what I was told never mind they would just wait in line. I then told him the kids were not feeling well & we needed to go back to the hotel. My text was ignored, I could see them both in line, reading my text & ignoring it.
I took the kids to the bus & had Kaden help with Tessa, the stroller, water bottles & backpack getting onto & off of the bus. I got kids ready for bed, gave them meds & we laid in bed to relax a bit. Imagine my surprise, anger, sadness & hurt to open the Disney App to see the went on many more rides & were having the time of there life. It was then Kaden started crying because he realized he never got to ride the 2 things he really wanted to, the 2 things his Dad & her had done without us earlier that day.
I was furious that even though the kids were sick, they continued to enjoy our family vacation. I received a text about 2 1/2 hours after leaving that he was coming back & his phone had been in his pocket & low battery. We did briefly argue when he got back, and he admitted he did see my text, but he didn't care.
Due to the hurricane we didn't leave on Thursday, we left Saturday. We spent those days just like the previous ones, the kids & I alone, them off together. He did go to Disney Springs so we could go shopping, but he refused to go into the stores & wouldn't talk to Kaden on the bus, and only snipped at me & gave me looks like he hated me. That evening Kaden & I fought the crowds to get food before the hurricane to eat for dinner & the next day. He said he
Didn't want anything, but upon returning to the room he left with her & they ate at the food court together while the kids & I sat in the room.
Friday he did take a walk around the resort, but it was not a really comfortable walk since I was trying to hold it together for the sake of the kids.
On the drive home I just wanted 5 minutes alone with him, hoping maybe a walk to the bathrooms at a rest stop, yet that would never happen. Every rest stop I'd go by myself, while they sat in the van with the kids, then they would go. I tried to go a few times when we stopped, but she would jump out & go with so I was told I could go next. A few times when we would all go I would try to wait, hoping to get a kiss, hold hands on the walk back, but it's impossible when they are attached at the shoulder. I do not know why this was the case for the whole trip, I really don't understand any of it.
I will say I was so deeply hurt & upset the night I took the kids, sick. back to the resort alone I was for the 1st time seriously considering if I wanted to stay.
I know it sounds crazy, but you have to remember these trips every 3 yrs are the ONLY time we go somewhere as a family, it's the one time the kids have his undivided attention away from work, it's a time for him & I to reconnect, have time alone without the distractions of work. The kids & I had this time taken from us, we can not get it back. We don't have the fun happy memories, we don't have the pictures, and we don't have anything to show for our 20th anniversary celebrations... no pictures, no quiet moments, not even a 5 minute walk alone.
I know we invited others along, but I never in a million years thought it would turn out like this. I am very grateful & glad my cousin came with, he helped me so much with the kids, he rode many rides with Kaden.
I will say this, I have learned we will never go in September again, and we will never travel with anyone again. If others go at the same time that's great, get your own room, make your own plans & we can maybe meet up 1-2 times for a bit.
Right now I can't even look at our photopass pictures Disney took of us & on rides it hurts way too much. I'm slowly unpacking, but cry the whole time. I honestly hurt so bad it makes me sick. What does the future hold??? I don't know, I guess time will tell.
There were a few good moments, seeing Tessa light up when she met Sofia the First, watching her giggle so had on Test Track & roller coaster. These moments bring me joy & happiness.
Monday, October 10, 2016
Friday, April 15, 2016
5 Years
Tessa turned 5 in January, and while time has flown by, there are moments that seem like a million years ago. I have many moments I regret, and some I wish I could have a do-over.
I am going to be brutally honest, because I feel many parents that have a child with a disability aren't often. I don't fault them, because often we are judged unfairly & harshly by either other parents, or by people who don't have a child with a disability.
I love Tessa just as much as my boys. I love her smile, her funny sense of humor, her tiny feet & hands, her beautiful blue eyes, with the amazing brushfield spots, her amazing zest for life, and her sweet kisses & hugs. I wouldn't change a thing about her, including her extra chromosome.
But, I do have days I wished she didn't have to work so hard for the simple things that come so easy for her peers, that she didn't have to be frustrated when people don't understand her, when she is unable to communicate her needs & wants as easily.
There are days I hate that Tessa has Down syndrome!! There are days I hate that when trying to advocate for her, I become so overwhelmed I cry. I hate that I am not sure if what I'm doing is what is really best for her or is what she would have chosen for herself.
One thing I do know, is I can say I am trying my best, I am doing the research, I'm asking for advice from those that have been on this journey longer.
We are about to start a new chapter of her life, and while it's exciting, it's equally as terrifying too. Tessa will finally graduate from preschool next month, and she will be off to Kindergarten. It is hard to believe we are at this stage already, and yet it makes me sad to think time is only going to go much faster. Tessa has been in preschool since she was 2 1/2, including 6 weeks during the summers, before that she had therapy every week from 6 weeks to 2 1/2 yrs. Tessa has not known a time without someone messing with her, trying to teacher her something in someway.
This summer she will have ZERO school or therapy!! She gets to be a typical 5 yr old, playing, laughing, experiencing life without a having everything being a therapy.
All too soon summer will be over, and the learning begins again. I feel good about my choice for her kindergarten. She will attend the same school the boys attended, its a small school, and it's perfect for her. She will have 2 amazing teachers, who can't wait for her to come, she has a great case manager/special ed teacher, who also is excited for her to come. Tessa will be fully included in kindergarten. She will be in a class of kindergartners and 1st graders. She will learn so much from her peers, and they will learn so much from her too. I hope she makes friends, and I hope they are patient & kind with her. She will still get Speech, OT, and PT. She will eat lunch at school, she will experience gym, music, art class. I am excited & can't wait to see her blossom during the year.
She is behind her peers, but she will be given the same work, only modified. Will she know simple addition/subtraction, how to read sight words, write her name by the end of the year? We have no clue, will her peers? Yes! But she will be given the same opportunities as her peers to learn those things, and someday, in her own time she will reach her full potential.
So when I look back on her first 5 yrs, I wish I could go back to that day in the Dr's office when I was told she had "soft marker" for DS, and tell myself it's going to be OK. I wish I could go back to the day she was born & I was alone in a dark hospital room crying myself to sleep after seeing her laying in the NICU and tell myself that it was going to be OK. I wish I could go back to my week in the hospital after having her, and tell myself to pick her up, love her, don't be scared she just wants to be loved & she is going to be OK.
I wish for the first few months I could have seen past her diagnosis, and seen how amazing she was, how much those around us embraced her & loved her.
I will never regret fighting every battle with family, friends, doctors, therapists & teachers over what I wanted for her, what she deserved. I will never regret fighting for her.
So here I am with the most amazing 5 yr old ever, and some days I can't believe I get to be her mom. I get to wake up to her sweet smile. I get to cuddle with her every night, kiss her, tell her I love her very much. I get to watch her drift off to sleep, and I know she knows happiness & love.
There will be many more battles, many more sad, and tough moments in the future, but there will also be so many more happy moments, laughter, kisses & milestones.
I can not wait to see what the next 5 yrs hold!!
I am going to be brutally honest, because I feel many parents that have a child with a disability aren't often. I don't fault them, because often we are judged unfairly & harshly by either other parents, or by people who don't have a child with a disability.
I love Tessa just as much as my boys. I love her smile, her funny sense of humor, her tiny feet & hands, her beautiful blue eyes, with the amazing brushfield spots, her amazing zest for life, and her sweet kisses & hugs. I wouldn't change a thing about her, including her extra chromosome.
But, I do have days I wished she didn't have to work so hard for the simple things that come so easy for her peers, that she didn't have to be frustrated when people don't understand her, when she is unable to communicate her needs & wants as easily.
There are days I hate that Tessa has Down syndrome!! There are days I hate that when trying to advocate for her, I become so overwhelmed I cry. I hate that I am not sure if what I'm doing is what is really best for her or is what she would have chosen for herself.
One thing I do know, is I can say I am trying my best, I am doing the research, I'm asking for advice from those that have been on this journey longer.
We are about to start a new chapter of her life, and while it's exciting, it's equally as terrifying too. Tessa will finally graduate from preschool next month, and she will be off to Kindergarten. It is hard to believe we are at this stage already, and yet it makes me sad to think time is only going to go much faster. Tessa has been in preschool since she was 2 1/2, including 6 weeks during the summers, before that she had therapy every week from 6 weeks to 2 1/2 yrs. Tessa has not known a time without someone messing with her, trying to teacher her something in someway.
This summer she will have ZERO school or therapy!! She gets to be a typical 5 yr old, playing, laughing, experiencing life without a having everything being a therapy.
All too soon summer will be over, and the learning begins again. I feel good about my choice for her kindergarten. She will attend the same school the boys attended, its a small school, and it's perfect for her. She will have 2 amazing teachers, who can't wait for her to come, she has a great case manager/special ed teacher, who also is excited for her to come. Tessa will be fully included in kindergarten. She will be in a class of kindergartners and 1st graders. She will learn so much from her peers, and they will learn so much from her too. I hope she makes friends, and I hope they are patient & kind with her. She will still get Speech, OT, and PT. She will eat lunch at school, she will experience gym, music, art class. I am excited & can't wait to see her blossom during the year.
She is behind her peers, but she will be given the same work, only modified. Will she know simple addition/subtraction, how to read sight words, write her name by the end of the year? We have no clue, will her peers? Yes! But she will be given the same opportunities as her peers to learn those things, and someday, in her own time she will reach her full potential.
So when I look back on her first 5 yrs, I wish I could go back to that day in the Dr's office when I was told she had "soft marker" for DS, and tell myself it's going to be OK. I wish I could go back to the day she was born & I was alone in a dark hospital room crying myself to sleep after seeing her laying in the NICU and tell myself that it was going to be OK. I wish I could go back to my week in the hospital after having her, and tell myself to pick her up, love her, don't be scared she just wants to be loved & she is going to be OK.
I wish for the first few months I could have seen past her diagnosis, and seen how amazing she was, how much those around us embraced her & loved her.
I will never regret fighting every battle with family, friends, doctors, therapists & teachers over what I wanted for her, what she deserved. I will never regret fighting for her.
So here I am with the most amazing 5 yr old ever, and some days I can't believe I get to be her mom. I get to wake up to her sweet smile. I get to cuddle with her every night, kiss her, tell her I love her very much. I get to watch her drift off to sleep, and I know she knows happiness & love.
There will be many more battles, many more sad, and tough moments in the future, but there will also be so many more happy moments, laughter, kisses & milestones.
I can not wait to see what the next 5 yrs hold!!
Tuesday, December 29, 2015
Slacking Again
I have been slacking on this again, but things have been so busy & I honestly haven't had a whole lot of time. There have been many new, exciting & interesting things happening, and I have had many ideas for things to blog about, but again time is short, and honestly some I just really felt best to not blog about.
Travis has finished his 1st semester of college, an while it had a few rough spots, he learned from them, and added them to life experiences. He is liking it, and really growing into the amazing adult I knew he would be. I miss him greatly, and still worry about him, maybe more then when he lived at home. I worry he will feel we are forgetting about him, or is he sad. But, I know he knows we think about him daily & he is not being excluded.
Kaden is having a great year in school, and he has grown so much both physically, mentally & emotionally. He has one of the best teachers, and he is his advisor too. He truly loves his job, and wants to see the kids succeed. He has reached out to Kaden, and shown him he matters, he told Kaden he believes in him. These words from him have given Kaden a boost in self esteem, and motivation to work hard. I see everyday Kaden is finding his passion & becoming more & more sure of himself.
Tessa continues to grow, and amaze us with her funny attitude & desire to learn. Her language is growing daily, and she really is becoming a "big" girl. She is loving her school, especially her Readiness class. (special ed class) She has really become more outgoing at school, made some friends, and is learning so much. We had one IEP meeting & will have a few more this spring to prepare for her transition to Kindergarten. We have finally got her a social worker, and while it took lots of paperwork, phone calls, and waiting it has been, and will be a good thing going forward. I am finding things can be hard, frustrating, and down right confusing when navigating services, and finding resources for her. I am blessed to have found a great group of parents, and networks to help offer advice or assistance navigating it all. Because of this I agreed to take over as Parent Facilitator for our parent group. I figured if I can be someone to help other parents either by sharing my experiences or helping to find resources I need to do that, since I wouldn't know half of what I do, or have found the services without others too.
I also became an Independent Consultant for Pink Zebra. I love their products, and thought I would give it a shot. It has been slow going, but I have done a vendor event, and have been getting my name out there. I will give it time to take off, and just trying to make a little extra money to help with the bills.
So as you can see life has been busy, but it is all good. I want to start being more consistent with my blogging, and have many other projects, and ideas I want to do (try) in 2016.
Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, and you have a safe & happy New Year!
Travis has finished his 1st semester of college, an while it had a few rough spots, he learned from them, and added them to life experiences. He is liking it, and really growing into the amazing adult I knew he would be. I miss him greatly, and still worry about him, maybe more then when he lived at home. I worry he will feel we are forgetting about him, or is he sad. But, I know he knows we think about him daily & he is not being excluded.
Kaden is having a great year in school, and he has grown so much both physically, mentally & emotionally. He has one of the best teachers, and he is his advisor too. He truly loves his job, and wants to see the kids succeed. He has reached out to Kaden, and shown him he matters, he told Kaden he believes in him. These words from him have given Kaden a boost in self esteem, and motivation to work hard. I see everyday Kaden is finding his passion & becoming more & more sure of himself.
Tessa continues to grow, and amaze us with her funny attitude & desire to learn. Her language is growing daily, and she really is becoming a "big" girl. She is loving her school, especially her Readiness class. (special ed class) She has really become more outgoing at school, made some friends, and is learning so much. We had one IEP meeting & will have a few more this spring to prepare for her transition to Kindergarten. We have finally got her a social worker, and while it took lots of paperwork, phone calls, and waiting it has been, and will be a good thing going forward. I am finding things can be hard, frustrating, and down right confusing when navigating services, and finding resources for her. I am blessed to have found a great group of parents, and networks to help offer advice or assistance navigating it all. Because of this I agreed to take over as Parent Facilitator for our parent group. I figured if I can be someone to help other parents either by sharing my experiences or helping to find resources I need to do that, since I wouldn't know half of what I do, or have found the services without others too.
I also became an Independent Consultant for Pink Zebra. I love their products, and thought I would give it a shot. It has been slow going, but I have done a vendor event, and have been getting my name out there. I will give it time to take off, and just trying to make a little extra money to help with the bills.
So as you can see life has been busy, but it is all good. I want to start being more consistent with my blogging, and have many other projects, and ideas I want to do (try) in 2016.
Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas, and you have a safe & happy New Year!
Thursday, September 17, 2015
He Is Not Gone, He's At College!
We took Travis to college on August 22nd, we stayed until the 23rd. I said my good byes, and cried a bit, cried more when I was driving, and lost it walking into the house. I found myself not able to function, and the physical pain was more then I could stand.
I tried to focus on Tessa & Kaden, getting them ready for school & surgery for Tessa, but I would just lose it whenever anyone asked how Travis was doing. I couldn't answer that because I didn't know. He seemed very nervous, and stressed, but he also seemed to be calmer then I expected too. I worried was he trying to be brave for me, was he actually terrified or sad? I didn't know and the thought of him being upset, sad, scared or anything made me cry & feel like a failure.
From the day he was born I vowed to never let my kids feel like I wasn't there for them, or that I had abandoned them. I never wanted them to worry I wouldn't be there for them, yet at this moment I couldn't physically be there for him.
When Travis was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome & severe anxiety at the age of 8, our world changed. Every aspect of our lives was regimented. we followed a strict schedule, any changes had to be gone over extensively. I spent every moment watching, and anticipating situations that needed to be addressed to make it more comfortable. I did everything I needed to make life more safe, comfortable, calm, peaceful for him. I spent more hours in IEP meetings trying to make sure he got the best environment, staff & resources available to help him become successful. I made sure those around him understood he wasn't being a jerk, a baby, or I wasn't babying him, I was doing what needed to be done for him to even be able to function in this life. He wasn't trying to be rude, condescending, or anything else others thought, he was trying to learn to be more accepted by society, but somedays it was harder.
He had come along way in those 10 yrs before college. and he made some great progress. However he will always have Asperger's & anxiety, and no matter how much we all wish it wasn't so, it is. He will always struggle with many aspects of it ,there will be many things in his adult life that will be hard, very hard, and sad. I will always be here advocating, comforting, and teaching him, I will never give up on helping him. The ultimate goal for him, and for any child is to get them into college, get them out into the world, and see them successful & happy.
So yes, this was what we had worked for, but it was a big deal, and it was terrifying too.
He is 4 hrs away, if he has a bad day, I can't give him a hug and help him processes it. He is an adult, and there is only so much I can legally do to help him, without going to court & taking away his rights. FYI: This will never happen!!
So while this is the goal, and yes I am very happy, it still is hard, and I was still so sad. He worked so hard to get to college, he has known for a long time this is what he wants, and he has done everything possible to get here. He deserves to be in college, he deserves a good life, and he deserves to be happy while doing it.
I am happy to report, he is starting his 4th week of school, and seems to be doing just fine. The kids & I are going to see him in 2 days & I am so excited. I miss him, I miss our talks, I miss seeing his stuff here. But, I am so incredibly proud he is doing good, he's taking care of himself, and advocating for himself too.
So for those who say how is it now that Travis is gone, I say....He is not gone, he is just at college right now!!
I tried to focus on Tessa & Kaden, getting them ready for school & surgery for Tessa, but I would just lose it whenever anyone asked how Travis was doing. I couldn't answer that because I didn't know. He seemed very nervous, and stressed, but he also seemed to be calmer then I expected too. I worried was he trying to be brave for me, was he actually terrified or sad? I didn't know and the thought of him being upset, sad, scared or anything made me cry & feel like a failure.
From the day he was born I vowed to never let my kids feel like I wasn't there for them, or that I had abandoned them. I never wanted them to worry I wouldn't be there for them, yet at this moment I couldn't physically be there for him.
When Travis was diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome & severe anxiety at the age of 8, our world changed. Every aspect of our lives was regimented. we followed a strict schedule, any changes had to be gone over extensively. I spent every moment watching, and anticipating situations that needed to be addressed to make it more comfortable. I did everything I needed to make life more safe, comfortable, calm, peaceful for him. I spent more hours in IEP meetings trying to make sure he got the best environment, staff & resources available to help him become successful. I made sure those around him understood he wasn't being a jerk, a baby, or I wasn't babying him, I was doing what needed to be done for him to even be able to function in this life. He wasn't trying to be rude, condescending, or anything else others thought, he was trying to learn to be more accepted by society, but somedays it was harder.
He had come along way in those 10 yrs before college. and he made some great progress. However he will always have Asperger's & anxiety, and no matter how much we all wish it wasn't so, it is. He will always struggle with many aspects of it ,there will be many things in his adult life that will be hard, very hard, and sad. I will always be here advocating, comforting, and teaching him, I will never give up on helping him. The ultimate goal for him, and for any child is to get them into college, get them out into the world, and see them successful & happy.
So yes, this was what we had worked for, but it was a big deal, and it was terrifying too.
He is 4 hrs away, if he has a bad day, I can't give him a hug and help him processes it. He is an adult, and there is only so much I can legally do to help him, without going to court & taking away his rights. FYI: This will never happen!!
So while this is the goal, and yes I am very happy, it still is hard, and I was still so sad. He worked so hard to get to college, he has known for a long time this is what he wants, and he has done everything possible to get here. He deserves to be in college, he deserves a good life, and he deserves to be happy while doing it.
I am happy to report, he is starting his 4th week of school, and seems to be doing just fine. The kids & I are going to see him in 2 days & I am so excited. I miss him, I miss our talks, I miss seeing his stuff here. But, I am so incredibly proud he is doing good, he's taking care of himself, and advocating for himself too.
So for those who say how is it now that Travis is gone, I say....He is not gone, he is just at college right now!!
Thursday, July 9, 2015
Finally....Our Disney Trips! Yes, I said Trip!
I haven't written about Disney in a long time, and we have since gone on our trip, and Travis and I have taken a mother/son trip too.
So I will post a bit about both trips, and a bit about our upcoming trip in about 14 months.
Our last trip was in October 2013, we again drove because it is most cost effective for us, and we really enjoy road trips. Driving gives us a chance to see many things we might miss if we flew, and lets be honest I always over pack, we shop way too much at Disney, and getting things there & back is not an issue. Now let me just say, I realize driving isn't for everyone, and I respect that, but for us it is all part of the fun.
Normally we leave after the kids get out of school on a Friday, and again that is what we did. We picked Kaden up early since he got out 50 minutes later then Travis. Our plan is always to drive all night, and all day Saturday till we get to the Georgia/ Florida boarder. We then stay the night, and start out for our final 4 hrs. This time we took a different route, and even with stopping to eat, go potty & letting Tessa play we were making good time. We discussed going straight through since Tessa was doing so good, and we would be arriving around 11PM. I called The Swan & The Dolphin resorts at Downtown Disney, but both were full. I then call Disney reservations to see if we could check in early, but they said there was nothing at Pop Century. Disney did have a room available at Coronado Springs Resort, so we took it. We were reassured it didn't matter if we arrived around midnight, sounds great! But we would not make it there by 12, in fact I no sooner hung up with Disney & Tessa went into meltdown mode. Great, we now have a nonrefundable reservation at Disney, and we are wondering if it is a mistake. We made a few stops to calm her and finally arrived at 2 AM.
Now, Disney always does an amazing job at customer service, and even at 2 AM they welcome you with a smile. Dennis, Tessa & I went to check in, and were greeted with smiles. They were amazing with Tessa, and asked if it was her first visit. They then provided her with 1st visit button, a balloon, coloring book, crayons, and autographed pictures of Winnie Pooh & friends, Mickey & Minnie, and the Princesses.
We quickly found our room and went to bed. The next morning we showered, packed up what little we brought in, and checked out the resort before doing a late checkout, and going to Pop Century for our stay.
We drove to Pop Century, and had a very smooth check in. Our rooms, yes 2 rooms were ready, so we went dropped our stuff off, and made a run to Walmart for Mt Dew, Coke, bottled water, diapers & wipes. This is one of the perks of having a car we were able to bring just what we needed for their trip down, and then stocked up there. We spent the rest of the day relaxing and exploring the resort.
Since this was the 1st visit for Tessa we started our trip with the Magic Kingdom, and breakfast at Cinderella's Royal Table before park opening. This was worth the 2 dinning credits just to see the princesses, and the castle.
This was our first time using Magic Bands, and Disney was still in the testing phase so they were sending invites to guests to be in their test group, and we were lucky enough to be asked.
We really loved them, and because we were in the test group we could get the standard 3 Fast pass+, and then when those were used we could get regular fast pass. We really had a great time, and really just stayed in vacation mode the whole time. We really just go with the flow, we don't drive to the parks we take Disney transportation. If a bus is really full when it's our turn to board, we step aside, and let others get on, while we wait for the next bus. We try to just not let stuff bother us and try to make sure we show our appreciation for all the cast members hard work.
This time we made Dinning reservations at some old favorites, and also tried some new spots too.
We ate at: Raglan Road, Yatchtmans Steakhouse, Cinderella's Royal Table, Coral Reef, Teppan Edo, Crystal Palace, Ohana, Chef Mickey's, and T Rex. We also purchased the Memory Maker CD for all our pictures, dinning photos, and ride photos.
It really was a great trip, and it was so special, yet bittersweet too. This was the 1st time for Tessa to go, it was the 1st time with all 3 kids, and it was our last trip to be bringing Travis before heading off to college. Little did I know, Travis & I would be back in 1 yr.
Which brings me to November 2014, and Travis & I flying to Florida for a quick, whirlwind trip.
Travis had decided to tour 2 schools in Florida. Embory Riddle Aeronautical University in Daytona Beach, and Florida Institute Of Technology in Melbourne. We also decided that if we were going to be down there already we needed a Disney fix even if only for 1 1/2 days. I also wanted to spend a bit of alone time with Travis, and wanted to let him pick one park for us to visit, since had has had to sacrifice so much since Tessa has been born. He choose Epcot, and wanted dinner at Teppan Edo. We bought our plane tickets, and while I had not been on a plane in 10 yrs, I did my best to not panic. We booked a rental car, set up appointments, booked All Star Movies (where we stayed when Travis was 4), and bought our tickets to Epcot.
We flew into Orlando late on a Sunday night, picked up our car, and drove to Melbourne. Monday we had an appointment for a tour at FIT. After our tour, we drove up to Daytona Beach, checked into our hotel, and went down to the beach for dinner. It was amazing to see the ocean, and enjoy the nice weather in November. On Tuesday morning we checked out, toured Embory Riddle, and then went back to the Orlando airport to return the car, and hop on Disney's Magical Express for our hotel.
After checking in we dropped our luggage, went to Downtown Disney, and just took in all the sights & sounds of Disney. We were both so tired from all the traveling in the past 2 1/2 days, but also extremely happy to be back at Disney. On the way back we rode the monorail loop to all the Monorail resorts, and stopped at the Magic Kingdom to take a picture of the Christmas decorations at the entrance. I was a very happy girl, to see a touch of Christmas.
Wednesday Morning we were up early and at Epcot at park opening, wee had Fast passes to use, and Epcot had Extra Magic hours so we had till 11PM to take in as much Disney as we could. We laughed, rode rides, ate stuff from the Food & Wine Festival, sampled yummy drinks, and made amazing memories I will forever cherish. We were able to ride all favorite rides multiple times due to low crowds, fast passes, and utilizing single rider lines. We Met some great, and funny people while standing in line, including Bob from Jersey, and a man we called Rastafarian Dad. Our dinner at Teppan Edo was excellent as usual, and our chef was very funny, as well as all our table mates. We laughed, and really had an awesome time. We stayed till 11 when the park closed, and even though we needed to be at the bus stop for Magical Express at 5 am it was worth being tired.
So now we are planning our next trip, and I have very mixed emotions about it. I am very excited to be going back, and can't wait to see Tessa experience it again, I get sad thinking about Travis not being there. While he knows with college it just isn't possible to go with, I feel a bit worried he might feel left out. This next trip will be earlier then usual, due to the Ryder Cup being played in town, and the schools being closed for a week the end of September. We will be going Last week of September through October 6th. As plans continue to be made, and revised again & again, I will try to update periodically with tip, and info.
So I will post a bit about both trips, and a bit about our upcoming trip in about 14 months.
Our last trip was in October 2013, we again drove because it is most cost effective for us, and we really enjoy road trips. Driving gives us a chance to see many things we might miss if we flew, and lets be honest I always over pack, we shop way too much at Disney, and getting things there & back is not an issue. Now let me just say, I realize driving isn't for everyone, and I respect that, but for us it is all part of the fun.
Normally we leave after the kids get out of school on a Friday, and again that is what we did. We picked Kaden up early since he got out 50 minutes later then Travis. Our plan is always to drive all night, and all day Saturday till we get to the Georgia/ Florida boarder. We then stay the night, and start out for our final 4 hrs. This time we took a different route, and even with stopping to eat, go potty & letting Tessa play we were making good time. We discussed going straight through since Tessa was doing so good, and we would be arriving around 11PM. I called The Swan & The Dolphin resorts at Downtown Disney, but both were full. I then call Disney reservations to see if we could check in early, but they said there was nothing at Pop Century. Disney did have a room available at Coronado Springs Resort, so we took it. We were reassured it didn't matter if we arrived around midnight, sounds great! But we would not make it there by 12, in fact I no sooner hung up with Disney & Tessa went into meltdown mode. Great, we now have a nonrefundable reservation at Disney, and we are wondering if it is a mistake. We made a few stops to calm her and finally arrived at 2 AM.
Now, Disney always does an amazing job at customer service, and even at 2 AM they welcome you with a smile. Dennis, Tessa & I went to check in, and were greeted with smiles. They were amazing with Tessa, and asked if it was her first visit. They then provided her with 1st visit button, a balloon, coloring book, crayons, and autographed pictures of Winnie Pooh & friends, Mickey & Minnie, and the Princesses.
We quickly found our room and went to bed. The next morning we showered, packed up what little we brought in, and checked out the resort before doing a late checkout, and going to Pop Century for our stay.
We drove to Pop Century, and had a very smooth check in. Our rooms, yes 2 rooms were ready, so we went dropped our stuff off, and made a run to Walmart for Mt Dew, Coke, bottled water, diapers & wipes. This is one of the perks of having a car we were able to bring just what we needed for their trip down, and then stocked up there. We spent the rest of the day relaxing and exploring the resort.
Since this was the 1st visit for Tessa we started our trip with the Magic Kingdom, and breakfast at Cinderella's Royal Table before park opening. This was worth the 2 dinning credits just to see the princesses, and the castle.
This was our first time using Magic Bands, and Disney was still in the testing phase so they were sending invites to guests to be in their test group, and we were lucky enough to be asked.
We really loved them, and because we were in the test group we could get the standard 3 Fast pass+, and then when those were used we could get regular fast pass. We really had a great time, and really just stayed in vacation mode the whole time. We really just go with the flow, we don't drive to the parks we take Disney transportation. If a bus is really full when it's our turn to board, we step aside, and let others get on, while we wait for the next bus. We try to just not let stuff bother us and try to make sure we show our appreciation for all the cast members hard work.
This time we made Dinning reservations at some old favorites, and also tried some new spots too.
We ate at: Raglan Road, Yatchtmans Steakhouse, Cinderella's Royal Table, Coral Reef, Teppan Edo, Crystal Palace, Ohana, Chef Mickey's, and T Rex. We also purchased the Memory Maker CD for all our pictures, dinning photos, and ride photos.
It really was a great trip, and it was so special, yet bittersweet too. This was the 1st time for Tessa to go, it was the 1st time with all 3 kids, and it was our last trip to be bringing Travis before heading off to college. Little did I know, Travis & I would be back in 1 yr.
Which brings me to November 2014, and Travis & I flying to Florida for a quick, whirlwind trip.
Travis had decided to tour 2 schools in Florida. Embory Riddle Aeronautical University in Daytona Beach, and Florida Institute Of Technology in Melbourne. We also decided that if we were going to be down there already we needed a Disney fix even if only for 1 1/2 days. I also wanted to spend a bit of alone time with Travis, and wanted to let him pick one park for us to visit, since had has had to sacrifice so much since Tessa has been born. He choose Epcot, and wanted dinner at Teppan Edo. We bought our plane tickets, and while I had not been on a plane in 10 yrs, I did my best to not panic. We booked a rental car, set up appointments, booked All Star Movies (where we stayed when Travis was 4), and bought our tickets to Epcot.
We flew into Orlando late on a Sunday night, picked up our car, and drove to Melbourne. Monday we had an appointment for a tour at FIT. After our tour, we drove up to Daytona Beach, checked into our hotel, and went down to the beach for dinner. It was amazing to see the ocean, and enjoy the nice weather in November. On Tuesday morning we checked out, toured Embory Riddle, and then went back to the Orlando airport to return the car, and hop on Disney's Magical Express for our hotel.
After checking in we dropped our luggage, went to Downtown Disney, and just took in all the sights & sounds of Disney. We were both so tired from all the traveling in the past 2 1/2 days, but also extremely happy to be back at Disney. On the way back we rode the monorail loop to all the Monorail resorts, and stopped at the Magic Kingdom to take a picture of the Christmas decorations at the entrance. I was a very happy girl, to see a touch of Christmas.
Wednesday Morning we were up early and at Epcot at park opening, wee had Fast passes to use, and Epcot had Extra Magic hours so we had till 11PM to take in as much Disney as we could. We laughed, rode rides, ate stuff from the Food & Wine Festival, sampled yummy drinks, and made amazing memories I will forever cherish. We were able to ride all favorite rides multiple times due to low crowds, fast passes, and utilizing single rider lines. We Met some great, and funny people while standing in line, including Bob from Jersey, and a man we called Rastafarian Dad. Our dinner at Teppan Edo was excellent as usual, and our chef was very funny, as well as all our table mates. We laughed, and really had an awesome time. We stayed till 11 when the park closed, and even though we needed to be at the bus stop for Magical Express at 5 am it was worth being tired.
So now we are planning our next trip, and I have very mixed emotions about it. I am very excited to be going back, and can't wait to see Tessa experience it again, I get sad thinking about Travis not being there. While he knows with college it just isn't possible to go with, I feel a bit worried he might feel left out. This next trip will be earlier then usual, due to the Ryder Cup being played in town, and the schools being closed for a week the end of September. We will be going Last week of September through October 6th. As plans continue to be made, and revised again & again, I will try to update periodically with tip, and info.
Thursday, June 25, 2015
I'm Not A Better Parent, and Neither Are You
I see very often parents being mean, and hateful towards each other. Why are they doing this?
It is often many taboo subjects that get brought up on either their personal Facebook page, parenting pages or websites.
Parents suddenly become experts on the subject that is being discussed, and are not able to except that there is any other way to possibly raise a child.
Just a few of the topics I have seem discussed, and the discussions turn mean real quick.
Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding in public
Immunizations
Spanking
Circumcision
Ear Piercing
Potty Training
Nutrition
Where they sleep
And there are millions more arguments happening on millions more topics.
Now I have my opinions, beliefs, and way of raising my kids, Just like all of you have yours as well. Is my way the right way? Nope!
Is your way the right way? Nope!
Do I think my way is the right way? Yes & No.
Do I think your way is the right way? Yes & No.
My way is the right way to raise my kids, because they are my kids, and they have their own set of issues, disabilities, quirks, and behaviors. Our choices on all the taboo subjects, and countless others are ones we feel are right, and needed for our family. Would I demand or expect anyone else to parent the way I do, or make the choices I made? Nope, Never!
I would also expect the same from other moms as well. Your family, your beliefs, opinions, and values are yours, they work for your family. Your children's issues, disabilities, and quirks are theirs & theirs alone. I don't know what is best for them, only you as their parent can know that.
Can I offer a suggestion on things? Sure, because it might be a topic I have experience with, but I can't expect or become angry if you don't do it my way. Can you offer suggestions? Absolutely! I frequently ask other parents for suggestions, just to get a little perspective. The most amazing thing is you can get many opinions, and you do not have to do it exactly like they do.
I'm just amazed at all the parents that get so self righteous, mean, and down right hateful towards other parents, simply because they don't share the same ideas, or beliefs on parenting.
Why can't we all just respect each other, and agree to disagree. I can still be your friend, and not agree with you. I can still respect your opinion, even if it is not the same as mine.
As long as you're not hurting your child, and they are happy, healthy, and thriving it is none of my business if you breastfeed, spank, or any other taboo topic.
So how about we all just support, encourage &be nice to each other. Kids don't come with manuals, and when they have some sort of issues, disability, or quirks its even harder, and isolating to raise them.
I promise to give encouragement, and advice if I can, I promise to respect your right to raise your kids in a way you feel is best, and I promise to not judge your choices. I also ask the same of you in return.
After all I'm not a better parent then you, but I am the best parent for my kids. And you are not a better parent then me, but you are the best parent for your kids!
It is often many taboo subjects that get brought up on either their personal Facebook page, parenting pages or websites.
Parents suddenly become experts on the subject that is being discussed, and are not able to except that there is any other way to possibly raise a child.
Just a few of the topics I have seem discussed, and the discussions turn mean real quick.
Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding in public
Immunizations
Spanking
Circumcision
Ear Piercing
Potty Training
Nutrition
Where they sleep
And there are millions more arguments happening on millions more topics.
Now I have my opinions, beliefs, and way of raising my kids, Just like all of you have yours as well. Is my way the right way? Nope!
Is your way the right way? Nope!
Do I think my way is the right way? Yes & No.
Do I think your way is the right way? Yes & No.
My way is the right way to raise my kids, because they are my kids, and they have their own set of issues, disabilities, quirks, and behaviors. Our choices on all the taboo subjects, and countless others are ones we feel are right, and needed for our family. Would I demand or expect anyone else to parent the way I do, or make the choices I made? Nope, Never!
I would also expect the same from other moms as well. Your family, your beliefs, opinions, and values are yours, they work for your family. Your children's issues, disabilities, and quirks are theirs & theirs alone. I don't know what is best for them, only you as their parent can know that.
Can I offer a suggestion on things? Sure, because it might be a topic I have experience with, but I can't expect or become angry if you don't do it my way. Can you offer suggestions? Absolutely! I frequently ask other parents for suggestions, just to get a little perspective. The most amazing thing is you can get many opinions, and you do not have to do it exactly like they do.
I'm just amazed at all the parents that get so self righteous, mean, and down right hateful towards other parents, simply because they don't share the same ideas, or beliefs on parenting.
Why can't we all just respect each other, and agree to disagree. I can still be your friend, and not agree with you. I can still respect your opinion, even if it is not the same as mine.
As long as you're not hurting your child, and they are happy, healthy, and thriving it is none of my business if you breastfeed, spank, or any other taboo topic.
So how about we all just support, encourage &be nice to each other. Kids don't come with manuals, and when they have some sort of issues, disability, or quirks its even harder, and isolating to raise them.
I promise to give encouragement, and advice if I can, I promise to respect your right to raise your kids in a way you feel is best, and I promise to not judge your choices. I also ask the same of you in return.
After all I'm not a better parent then you, but I am the best parent for my kids. And you are not a better parent then me, but you are the best parent for your kids!
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Seeing Things Differently
I have been neglecting this blog for a log time, and I hate that. I am really going to try to be better at it. I have many things I have been wanting to write about, and I just haven't had time.
I am finally writing this one because I have been thinking about this a lot lately, and it seems every time I turn around there is something to remind me of what I use to believe, and how my beliefs have changed.
Since Tessa has been born I have seen thousands of posts on Facebook talking about how we need to help the world see our kids as just that kids. We are always trying to educate everyone about the truth about Down syndrome, dispel the myths that have been around for decades. We want them to be seen, and treated as equals, as we would any other child. We want full inclusion, and acceptance too. We want others to treat them with kindness, understanding and respect, because the are worthy of it, and they deserve it. After all people with Down syndrome, or any other disability are just that people.
And here is where I have been thinking, and frankly seeing things differently. If we want, need, and demand all these things for our kids or family members, how can we justify not extending the same to everyone? I have seen people fight and become downright nasty to each other because we don't all see things the same or agree 100% on something. I know I've been guilty of this myself.
How can we, parents of children with Down syndrome or any type of disability, or difference not just accept people for who they are? Why can't we accept some have a different view or belief then we do, and it doesn't make then wrong, or bad? Why can't we listen to the other persons belief or reason, and be thankful to have the opportunity to see things differently? By doing this it doesn't mean we have to change our view or belief, but we can graciously agree to disagree. And here is the shocking part, we can still like that person, and we can still be kind.
How can we be parents fighting for acceptance, and inclusion, but not extend that same right to others who are not fighting for it too?
What would you do if tomorrow you woke up, and your perfect life was turned upside down by the one thing you refuse to accept, include, or respect? What if you were forced to face the one thing you disagree with or refuse to accept as acceptable? Would you change your view, or would you hold tight to your belief even if it meant hurting someone you loved?
I am by all means not perfect, but having Tessa has changed my view on many things. I have softened on things I swore I never would. I can respect not everyone sees things the same way I do, and they have their reason for their belief. I don't have to agree with them to still accept them or like them. Certain things just aren't as important to me anymore. I can be friends with someone I don't exactly agree with all the time. I can be friends with someone I vowed to never speak to again, or swore I hated, because I have come to realize I might have judged them wrong. And I truly believe people do mean well, and sometimes a cautious second chance is needed.
So please, take a moment to see a different point of view, it doesn't mean you have to believe differently, just have an open mind. Please don't judge someone on their disability or sexual orientation, try accepting them, including them, and treating them with respect. They are people and they deserve all of that. Remember while you're fighting for those things for your child or family member, so are their parents and family.
I am finally writing this one because I have been thinking about this a lot lately, and it seems every time I turn around there is something to remind me of what I use to believe, and how my beliefs have changed.
Since Tessa has been born I have seen thousands of posts on Facebook talking about how we need to help the world see our kids as just that kids. We are always trying to educate everyone about the truth about Down syndrome, dispel the myths that have been around for decades. We want them to be seen, and treated as equals, as we would any other child. We want full inclusion, and acceptance too. We want others to treat them with kindness, understanding and respect, because the are worthy of it, and they deserve it. After all people with Down syndrome, or any other disability are just that people.
And here is where I have been thinking, and frankly seeing things differently. If we want, need, and demand all these things for our kids or family members, how can we justify not extending the same to everyone? I have seen people fight and become downright nasty to each other because we don't all see things the same or agree 100% on something. I know I've been guilty of this myself.
How can we, parents of children with Down syndrome or any type of disability, or difference not just accept people for who they are? Why can't we accept some have a different view or belief then we do, and it doesn't make then wrong, or bad? Why can't we listen to the other persons belief or reason, and be thankful to have the opportunity to see things differently? By doing this it doesn't mean we have to change our view or belief, but we can graciously agree to disagree. And here is the shocking part, we can still like that person, and we can still be kind.
How can we be parents fighting for acceptance, and inclusion, but not extend that same right to others who are not fighting for it too?
What would you do if tomorrow you woke up, and your perfect life was turned upside down by the one thing you refuse to accept, include, or respect? What if you were forced to face the one thing you disagree with or refuse to accept as acceptable? Would you change your view, or would you hold tight to your belief even if it meant hurting someone you loved?
I am by all means not perfect, but having Tessa has changed my view on many things. I have softened on things I swore I never would. I can respect not everyone sees things the same way I do, and they have their reason for their belief. I don't have to agree with them to still accept them or like them. Certain things just aren't as important to me anymore. I can be friends with someone I don't exactly agree with all the time. I can be friends with someone I vowed to never speak to again, or swore I hated, because I have come to realize I might have judged them wrong. And I truly believe people do mean well, and sometimes a cautious second chance is needed.
So please, take a moment to see a different point of view, it doesn't mean you have to believe differently, just have an open mind. Please don't judge someone on their disability or sexual orientation, try accepting them, including them, and treating them with respect. They are people and they deserve all of that. Remember while you're fighting for those things for your child or family member, so are their parents and family.
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