Am I Doing Enough? Why Can't My Kid Do That?

I have been thinking about this for a while now, and when I announced here and on facebook that Tessa was walking at 15 months, I knew it was time to write it.

"Mom calm down, I will do things in my own time, just enjoy the little things!!"

When Tessa was born I had no clue what to expect. I had been told to not get my hopes up too much, that typically DS children walk between 2-4 yrs, with 2 being early.
I then started finding blogs, and Facebook pages of other parents of children with DS and seeing what their kids were doing, and how much PT,OT, Speech, and other therapies they were doing and all I could think of was " Oh my god, I am a crappy parent, I am not doing enough for her & oh no, my child is so far behind"
I was seeing other kids close to her age that were rolling over, sitting up, all kinds of things. I would see where parents had multiple therapy sessions a day & every day of the week. I would wonder if Tessa would ever do any of it.

Her Pediatrician would tell me to take everything with a grain of salt and remember she will do it all, in her own time. She would reassure me that even when I was pregnant with Tessa they had a feeling she was not as low tone as most due to her constant & strong movement. Even at birth Tessa was incredibly strong, she has always had very strong legs.

But still I worried. But finally she had a growth explosion and new milestones were met almost every couple weeks. She met most of her milestones close to or shortly after the normal time. Now that she is almost 16 months, she is right on track or past on many things. She doesn't talk other then a few words, but I am not to worried.

I worried about posting about her walking on Facebook and on https://www.facebook.com/#!/NoahsDadcom  because I understand how early she is walking & I also worry that others might wonder if they are doing enough to get their little ones walking.
I have seen some parents post what they have done to help their child achieve their milestones and offer advice.

I am going to be honest about how we got Tessa to walk. It is what worked for us, but every child is different, their amount of tone is different, and I think walking at this young age is rare for DS children.

Tessa never crawled like a regular baby, she spider crawled. Because of this it is easier for her to pull up to stuff, also it made it much easier for her to stand up on her own in the middle of the floor.
Tessa has only had PT, OT, and a Teacher come to the house through the Birth to 3 program, we have not done outside therapy. We tried 2 times when she was 9 months, but she screamed and was scared so we stopped. I take what the PT/OT say and do it to some degree, and then I do what feels right & how I did with my other 2 kids. I have never treated Tessa any different then I did them at her age. I did push her to try, but made it fun as well. I found what motivated her and used that. ( paper, and tons of cheering and clapping)

I hope that other parents don't compare and judge their child's progress or lack of based on what Tessa is doing. Believe me I am so guilty of doing that, I did it for the first 9 months of her life. I would get very sad that she wasn't doing something others were doing.

There are many things she isn't doing, and I still some days wonder why she can't master those simple skills.

Tessa can not:
Drink through a straw
Drink from a regular sippy cup, hers is closer to her bottle nipple. ( that dang tongue gets in the way)
She can not use silverware to feed herself, she still uses her hands so has to be fed the messy things. ( applesauce, yogurt)
She only has 2 teeth on the bottom
She only signs a few things and not correctly, we have learned to interpret what she really means

I hope that I can learn to not compare her to others anymore, I am getting better, but their is still a small part of me that gets jealous when I hear of others mastering the skills she just can't.
I hope others don't feel the same way I do, and have felt in the past.

I am slowly learning to let things go, and really see the beauty in the little things, because in Tessa's world the little things really are BIG!
It is so easy for me to get excited and celebrate other DS children's accomplishments, then to see how far Tessa has come in such a short time.
I will admit, I sometimes see their accomplishments as Tessa's failures.

And before anyone gets all worked up, I don't see Tessa as a failure, I feel more like the failure because I wonder if I did more she would do more.
I feel guilt that she has to work so hard and struggles sometimes.

But, I am learning to not be this way. Tessa is amazing, strong, stubborn & so very determined to do everything. I am so proud of her, and I am learning that I am doing enough for her. What is enough for her might not be enough for another child, but that is because they are all their own person, with their own strengths & weaknesses.
I will continue to "brag" about her new milestones & accomplishments, celebrate them for the wonder they are, I hope everyone else celebrates with her too.
I will also continue to celebrate and cheer on all our new DS friends with each and every new milestone & accomplishment they have too. I feel great amount of happiness & amazement at all our little friends are doing.