My Thoughts & Opinions...About Family

So I have been thinking about this post for a long time, and was never quiet sure how to present it. It seems to me no matter how I write it or what I write, I am sure to anger some family members in a different state, whom I don't happen to communicate with, or have any interaction with other then them sending me nasty emails or anonymous comments here on the blog.
Now you might be wondering why they do this, and why my relationship is non-existent with them, and I will briefly tell you.
I don't share their same views or beliefs on many subjects. I don't sit back and allow them to tell me what to do, think, act or say. We many be family, but that doesn't mean I have to like you, or follow what you say, just because. I have been called mean, nasty, hateful, a bitch, and told I can leave the family and start my own. I have been accused of hiding behind my words and not taking responsibility for my words. I find this so funny, because I don't know how much more responsibility I can take then to have it all out here for the word to see on a public blog, I use my name, I link to it on my face book page. But, if going after me and calling me names makes a few feel better about themselves and their life, then I am glad to help. I don't get offended or bothered by their comments, I find them funny & feel sorry for them.

Now, on to what I was going to post about.

Family:

I think it is so amazing how when we are children we sometimes don't realize what an amazing family we have. When I was younger, and believed all my mothers lies and desperately wanted her to care about me, I would do anything to make her happy. I refused to see or believe what an amazing woman my step-mom was. She married my dad and instantly became a mom to 2 kids. I would be hurt and upset by my father paying more attention to her & ultimately their kids then my brother & I. I will admit there were things I thought were unfair and wrong, but as an adult I don't fault them. Just like my mother was a crappy mom, my  dad had his faults too. The only difference is even when my dad was drinking himself to an almost early death, he still ate dinner with us as a family every night & I always knew where he was and that he was always there when I needed him.

But the true persons I want to talk about are family via marriage: My step-mom , my sister-in law and my in laws.
These people have all shown me what a family is really like. They have all been there when I needed them and they have all shown me what love in a family means. They never expect anything from you in return. They are there because they want to & they care. They are grateful and gracious for all  you do, and want to be involved, and make an effort to be. They are not demanding of your time, or attention and know when to stay out of your business. I have been blessed to have such amazing people around me during some of the big milestones in my life, and during some rather tough times too.
I have learned how to be a self reliant person, a wife and a mother from these people. I have learned about unconditional love, and I have learned that I am not a bad person for standing up for myself, my husband, my children, and those family members who mean the most to me.

I have family who are true blood relatives that are also very important and special to me as well. They all know who they are and that our bonds will forever be strong. I couldn't be who I am & where I am if not for all of them as well.

Now, I would be lying if I said sometimes the loss of a big close family doesn't make me sad. I also would be lying if I said I could or would throw all my beliefs, feelings, and morals out the door just to be accepted in to the "family".
I can not nor will not change just to fit into something I don't agree with. It may sound mean and cold, but just because we are family, extended or close, doesn't allow you to treat me bad or guarantee me to put up with your crap. I can and have cut toxic people out of my life. I only put up with so much crap & only for so long before I have to save myself from the insanity.

Some wise words I heard when Travis was younger:
"Sorry is Good but Change is Better"

I don't say sorry very often, I won't say it as a way to excuse something I have done that others don't like. I also don't accept or forgive just because you say it. Too often people say it to get out of bad behavior, not because they actually mean it, but because social protocol say to. Many think if you say sorry, you are off the hook, and it excuses you, and allows you to continue with your crappy ways. I don't just forgive and forget because you say sorry.
I don't allow my children to say sorry unless they truly mean it and not just saying it because that is what they think they should say. I also tell them if someone treats you bad, or says something bad to you, having them say sorry to you if they didn't mean it isn't right. They must feel it is heartfelt and sincere.

So there, that is my post and feelings about family. I do have many other things to say about my childhood, life with certain family members, but in thinking it through I have to think it isn't worth it. Those that have hurt me, lied about me, and are no longer apart of my life really don't deserve the attention, and they have never taken responsibility and continue to only remember things and events according to their "selective" memories.

I am at a place in my life where I am happy, actually happier then I have been in a long time. I still have my moments and days where things seem overwhelming, and I do wonder why me, but they are less then the good ones.
I don't have many regrets right now, and the ones I do have are ones where I wished I had spoke my mind or stood up for myself or others sooner.