I see very often parents being mean, and hateful towards each other. Why are they doing this?
It is often many taboo subjects that get brought up on either their personal Facebook page, parenting pages or websites.
Parents suddenly become experts on the subject that is being discussed, and are not able to except that there is any other way to possibly raise a child.
Just a few of the topics I have seem discussed, and the discussions turn mean real quick.
Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding in public
Immunizations
Spanking
Circumcision
Ear Piercing
Potty Training
Nutrition
Where they sleep
And there are millions more arguments happening on millions more topics.
Now I have my opinions, beliefs, and way of raising my kids, Just like all of you have yours as well. Is my way the right way? Nope!
Is your way the right way? Nope!
Do I think my way is the right way? Yes & No.
Do I think your way is the right way? Yes & No.
My way is the right way to raise my kids, because they are my kids, and they have their own set of issues, disabilities, quirks, and behaviors. Our choices on all the taboo subjects, and countless others are ones we feel are right, and needed for our family. Would I demand or expect anyone else to parent the way I do, or make the choices I made? Nope, Never!
I would also expect the same from other moms as well. Your family, your beliefs, opinions, and values are yours, they work for your family. Your children's issues, disabilities, and quirks are theirs & theirs alone. I don't know what is best for them, only you as their parent can know that.
Can I offer a suggestion on things? Sure, because it might be a topic I have experience with, but I can't expect or become angry if you don't do it my way. Can you offer suggestions? Absolutely! I frequently ask other parents for suggestions, just to get a little perspective. The most amazing thing is you can get many opinions, and you do not have to do it exactly like they do.
I'm just amazed at all the parents that get so self righteous, mean, and down right hateful towards other parents, simply because they don't share the same ideas, or beliefs on parenting.
Why can't we all just respect each other, and agree to disagree. I can still be your friend, and not agree with you. I can still respect your opinion, even if it is not the same as mine.
As long as you're not hurting your child, and they are happy, healthy, and thriving it is none of my business if you breastfeed, spank, or any other taboo topic.
So how about we all just support, encourage &be nice to each other. Kids don't come with manuals, and when they have some sort of issues, disability, or quirks its even harder, and isolating to raise them.
I promise to give encouragement, and advice if I can, I promise to respect your right to raise your kids in a way you feel is best, and I promise to not judge your choices. I also ask the same of you in return.
After all I'm not a better parent then you, but I am the best parent for my kids. And you are not a better parent then me, but you are the best parent for your kids!
Thursday, June 25, 2015
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Seeing Things Differently
I have been neglecting this blog for a log time, and I hate that. I am really going to try to be better at it. I have many things I have been wanting to write about, and I just haven't had time.
I am finally writing this one because I have been thinking about this a lot lately, and it seems every time I turn around there is something to remind me of what I use to believe, and how my beliefs have changed.
Since Tessa has been born I have seen thousands of posts on Facebook talking about how we need to help the world see our kids as just that kids. We are always trying to educate everyone about the truth about Down syndrome, dispel the myths that have been around for decades. We want them to be seen, and treated as equals, as we would any other child. We want full inclusion, and acceptance too. We want others to treat them with kindness, understanding and respect, because the are worthy of it, and they deserve it. After all people with Down syndrome, or any other disability are just that people.
And here is where I have been thinking, and frankly seeing things differently. If we want, need, and demand all these things for our kids or family members, how can we justify not extending the same to everyone? I have seen people fight and become downright nasty to each other because we don't all see things the same or agree 100% on something. I know I've been guilty of this myself.
How can we, parents of children with Down syndrome or any type of disability, or difference not just accept people for who they are? Why can't we accept some have a different view or belief then we do, and it doesn't make then wrong, or bad? Why can't we listen to the other persons belief or reason, and be thankful to have the opportunity to see things differently? By doing this it doesn't mean we have to change our view or belief, but we can graciously agree to disagree. And here is the shocking part, we can still like that person, and we can still be kind.
How can we be parents fighting for acceptance, and inclusion, but not extend that same right to others who are not fighting for it too?
What would you do if tomorrow you woke up, and your perfect life was turned upside down by the one thing you refuse to accept, include, or respect? What if you were forced to face the one thing you disagree with or refuse to accept as acceptable? Would you change your view, or would you hold tight to your belief even if it meant hurting someone you loved?
I am by all means not perfect, but having Tessa has changed my view on many things. I have softened on things I swore I never would. I can respect not everyone sees things the same way I do, and they have their reason for their belief. I don't have to agree with them to still accept them or like them. Certain things just aren't as important to me anymore. I can be friends with someone I don't exactly agree with all the time. I can be friends with someone I vowed to never speak to again, or swore I hated, because I have come to realize I might have judged them wrong. And I truly believe people do mean well, and sometimes a cautious second chance is needed.
So please, take a moment to see a different point of view, it doesn't mean you have to believe differently, just have an open mind. Please don't judge someone on their disability or sexual orientation, try accepting them, including them, and treating them with respect. They are people and they deserve all of that. Remember while you're fighting for those things for your child or family member, so are their parents and family.
I am finally writing this one because I have been thinking about this a lot lately, and it seems every time I turn around there is something to remind me of what I use to believe, and how my beliefs have changed.
Since Tessa has been born I have seen thousands of posts on Facebook talking about how we need to help the world see our kids as just that kids. We are always trying to educate everyone about the truth about Down syndrome, dispel the myths that have been around for decades. We want them to be seen, and treated as equals, as we would any other child. We want full inclusion, and acceptance too. We want others to treat them with kindness, understanding and respect, because the are worthy of it, and they deserve it. After all people with Down syndrome, or any other disability are just that people.
And here is where I have been thinking, and frankly seeing things differently. If we want, need, and demand all these things for our kids or family members, how can we justify not extending the same to everyone? I have seen people fight and become downright nasty to each other because we don't all see things the same or agree 100% on something. I know I've been guilty of this myself.
How can we, parents of children with Down syndrome or any type of disability, or difference not just accept people for who they are? Why can't we accept some have a different view or belief then we do, and it doesn't make then wrong, or bad? Why can't we listen to the other persons belief or reason, and be thankful to have the opportunity to see things differently? By doing this it doesn't mean we have to change our view or belief, but we can graciously agree to disagree. And here is the shocking part, we can still like that person, and we can still be kind.
How can we be parents fighting for acceptance, and inclusion, but not extend that same right to others who are not fighting for it too?
What would you do if tomorrow you woke up, and your perfect life was turned upside down by the one thing you refuse to accept, include, or respect? What if you were forced to face the one thing you disagree with or refuse to accept as acceptable? Would you change your view, or would you hold tight to your belief even if it meant hurting someone you loved?
I am by all means not perfect, but having Tessa has changed my view on many things. I have softened on things I swore I never would. I can respect not everyone sees things the same way I do, and they have their reason for their belief. I don't have to agree with them to still accept them or like them. Certain things just aren't as important to me anymore. I can be friends with someone I don't exactly agree with all the time. I can be friends with someone I vowed to never speak to again, or swore I hated, because I have come to realize I might have judged them wrong. And I truly believe people do mean well, and sometimes a cautious second chance is needed.
So please, take a moment to see a different point of view, it doesn't mean you have to believe differently, just have an open mind. Please don't judge someone on their disability or sexual orientation, try accepting them, including them, and treating them with respect. They are people and they deserve all of that. Remember while you're fighting for those things for your child or family member, so are their parents and family.
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